Today I woke up to the sweet sound of birds singing at my window. Sunlight streamed into the room; a gently glistening river, bathing every surface in its soft glow and warming me head-to-toe. The moment was poetic, it was beautiful and it was too bloody short!
Unfortunately, it turns out even semi-conscious senses are not to be trusted and the soft light quickly turned into a blinding glare from my laptop screen. The only birds present were the twittering idiots I’d downloaded as a temporary alarm and any warmth was actually that type of throbbing heat as a result of a stiletto to the foot. You know the kind of pain you only feel the morning after leaving the dancefloor (though I did check at the time and no, that girl’s shoes were in no way worth it!)
Such is the culmination of a week that when I wanted to restart my blog with the idea of a smile a day, there has been very little to leave me grinning like a Cheshire cat on crack. Now, I can sense you’re already beginning to write this post off as one massive rant of the grumpy old woman variety but, whilst I have turned twenty-one since my last entry, in a bid to find the silver lining in every situation, I promise there will be a few bright points in between the tirade.
So Monday set the ball rolling with my iPhone being stolen and, rather pitifully, it turns out that was half my life. That little gadget, was my music device, organiser, notepad, social networking on the move, even my ruddy alarm clock! As a result, I have rung O2 customer services enough to have their number on speed-dial and possibly get an invitation to their Christmas party.
After finding out the phone wasn't even insured I could have cried. Instead, I laughed...if a little hysterically. For now I would like to introduce you to my temporary (dear god, it better be) replacement, offered by my dad on the basis that “at least nobody else will want it either”.
Its ability to look like a glorified calculator really is just a clever disguise-it can’t even perform that function. It can however wake you up every morning and destroy your soul little-by-little with ‘Yankee Doodle’ as the one and only alarm setting (the man got it free with coupons out of a newspaper; should I really expect anything more?!)
And, if you weren’t already convinced of my dad’s complete technological illiteracy, this is just a snippet of the contacts he has in his address book.
|I haven't deleted them just in case they do turn out to be his secret friends.|
Anyway, continuing the saga, there have been wild-goose trips back to my parents’ where I thought I would have to break into my own house. Not to mention more interaction with the police than yobs on a Saturday night in Croydon. Including, in an unrelated incident, the surreal situation of them knocking on my bedroom door at 3am and, after explaining their presence, complimenting me on my cow slippers and asking where they could buy a pair!
Since it is by no means the first time these babies have been commented upon, I was going to provide a link for you to rush online and buy your own. However, it seems I have uncovered an underground bovine footwear trend (and possibly started it) as they've sold out everywhere...
|I'm afraid these are not my own ankles|
So, anyway, is there a happy ending to this marathon moan? Well, I was ready to pack it all in and chuck myself (ok maybe a little too far), the toy phone under a bus when I remembered I had actually booked a ticket to hear Zandra Rhodes speak at the V&A. Of course I’ll do a separate post dedicated to the wonders of this woman but if anything is going to make a fashion nerd smile then it’s meeting one of the most iconic textile designers of the sixties and seventies style revolution. Suffice to say the week quickly took a turn around...
...and the moral of the story? If you can't see the silver-lining, your friends will find it for you! To round off the week, a good friend took me to a comedy show at the Udderbelly and I found myself cackling away (turns out I need a new laugh) to the talents of Tim Key and Tom Basden. I had been doing pretty well to avoid the laughter lines of old age until then but I'm a sucker for ludicrously random humour like this...
It was atop a plastic, purple bull that I finally realised...other people have possibly had worse weeks. I mean taking into account quite a few individuals have existed since the dawn of time, it's actually quite a strong probability.
So yes people this has been one of those sickening, self-realisation posts; more for my own benefit than for anyone else's. It is also Silver-Linings's gateway back into the blogosphere though and my fresh start.
Tomorrow's post will return to fashion, be about four times as short and contain no rants...or cows.